Itemized Bill
The painter was required to render an itemized bill for his repairs on various pictures in a convent. The statement was as follows:
| Corrected and renewed the Ten Commandments | 600.00 |
| Embellished Pontius Pilate and put a new ribbon on his bonnet | 300.06 |
| Put a new tail on the rooster of St. Peter and mended his bill | 400.08 |
| Put a new nose on St. John the Baptist and straightened his eye | 200.06 |
| Replumed and gilded the left wing of the Guardian Angel | 500.06 |
| Washed the servant of the High Priest and put carmine on his cheeks | 200.04 |
| Renewed Heaven, adjusted ten stars, gilded the sun and cleaned the moon | 800.02 |
| Reanimated the flames of Purgatory and restored some souls | 300.06 |
| Revived the flames of Hell, put a new tail on the devil, mended his left hoof and did several odd jobs for the damned | 400.10 |
| Put new spatter-dashes on the son of Tobias and dressing on his sack | 200.00 |
| Rebordered the robe of Herod and readjusted his wig | 300.07 |
| Cleaned the ears of Balaam's ass, and shod him | 200.08 |
| Put earrings in the ears of Sarah | 500.00 |
| Put a new stone in David's sling, enlarged Goliath's hand and extended his legs | 200.00 |
| Decorated Noah's Ark | 100.20 |
| Mended the shirt of the Prodigal Son, and cleaned the rest | 100.00 |
| —————— | |
| 5300.83 |
Why, if the best things in life are free, the next-best things are so expensive?
